Overwhelmed by Solitude
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At this stage of Midlife and being a caregiver for a spouse with lung disease I am always Overwhelmed with Solitude. There is two specific reasons for this Overwhelming feeling.
First of all the sadness of future solitude. There are days I can not even look at couples holding hands or even pictures of friends out on dates. I don’t say a thing, just smile. It isn’t their fault or even jealousy, it just part of facing the future of solitude. At this stage of care-giving you have a thousand secret thoughts each day.
Second of the two is my personal Solitude, I absolutely appreciate sitting by the lake all alone with a good book or just my thoughts. The Overwhelmed part of Solitude here is the guilt. Thought of do I deserve this time in the sun by the water while my spouse sits inside on oxygen.
Well I imagine you have come to the conclusion that each day solitude for a care-giver is overwhelming. Overwhelmed of thoughts of being alone the rest of your days or thoughts of if I don’t get to have solitude soon, I will be no good for anyone. Are you a caregiver for a spouse? Do you struggle with overwhelmed thoughts of solitude? Feedback would be very helpful at these stages.