Update To All Grown Up

By : Donna | 2 Comments | On : March 6, 2017 | Category : caregiver, Memories, Short Stories, Writing

Update To All Grown Up:

Update to All Grown-up; Mom’s Journey ended in 2018 and her death had nothing to do with the brain aneurysm. She passed away due to septic shock. My husband of thirty-six years now is currently still with us, but the COPD/Emphysema is worse. He sleeps about twelve hours per day and yes most of the time those are straight twelve-hour days. His appetite has slowed down, but he still gets his breakfast of toast, fried potatoes, breakfast meat, and a couple of eggs. I swear breakfast has always been his favorite meal.

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

This question is not an easy one to attempt for me; I have had grown-up responsibilities since the age of twelve. (Yet never felt like one) Yes, you are seeing that number correctly. Allow me to explain. My mother who is now seventy had a brain aneurysm when I was twelve. After 10-hour surgery and a 50/50 chance on the table; she has proudly overcome so much in life. During her recovery time though, Dad and I (being the oldest) had to reteach her basic writing and functioning skills. Being oldest brought on several grown-up responsibilities. Cleaning, Cooking, Caring for siblings.

A short 5 years later I met and married my husband of 32 years. I married the boy next door but not the one I grew up with; I married his best friend. Our first date was due to a dare. They lost he never gave them a second chance to ask. Two years after marriage our first child came along and four years later our second one arrived. You guessed it, More Cleaning, Cooking, and Caring for my own children. Are you seeing a pattern? 

Now at Midlife, I am the full-time Caregiver of my Spouse. He has COPD/EMPHYSEMA. This is a 24/7 job although he still functions well. There are bad breathing days, there is a lot of making sure he is comfortable, and you guessed it still Cleaning, Cooking, and Caring for someone along with Caring for myself.

In conclusion, when was the first time you really felt like a grown-up (if ever)? I can honestly say that I have been a grown-up for several years, yet many times never really felt like one completely. 

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