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Why Is Everyone Talking About Breast Cancer Prayers?

By : | 0 Comments | On : April 10, 2021 | Category : Blogging, Breast Cancer, caregiver, Everyday Life, Health, Short Stories, Writing

Why Is Everyone Talking About Breast Cancer?

Why Is Everyone Talking About Breast Cancer Prayers?

Dear Readers, why is everyone talking about breast cancer prayers in this room? Grab a drink and let this caregiver tell you about an Unexpected Season of “What Ifs,” and What About Me and Life.

photo of women sitting on orange sofa
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She changes into that mauve color gown and enters the waiting room, just a hand full of women waiting their turn to have their yearly smash the boobs routine. We all share our days and not watch the talk show on the TV.

Every day “What Ifs”:

As a caregiver, each day is full of ” What If” thoughts. I wake up thinking about my future of being a widow more often now. His lungs make his days challenging. Just a simple walk from the bedroom to the kitchen makes his breathing loud. He is constantly checking his 02 numbers too.

Everyone says, ” Take care of him” or ” What about him?”

In February and March, I heard myself yell aloud ” What about me?”

“And the What Ifs are the worst.”

― Susane Colasanti, Take Me There

What Ifs

The Phone Rang Three days later:

The phone rang three days later, and the doctor makes the statement that your blood work is perfect, but your mammogram was not. His exact words were ” I am not concerned but I sent the order for a breast ultrasound. ” I take a deep breath and express to my spouse not sure what to think but not worried yet

crop unrecognizable male doctor with stethoscope
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

(yes, I lied but so what) While waiting for the ultrasound appointment we have a visit from a social worker.

Social Worker and Yelling “What about Me?

A social worker came for a visit on a Friday, everyone talking about hospice. Not the first time we have discussed help in the home and definitely not the last. She spent an hour at the kitchen table. Discussing the benefits for the patient and the caregiver. After she addressed all his concerns, he was still hesitant but agreed. She stated a nurse would come out Monday.

Monday came and the nurse sat down at the same kitchen table and spoke

” I understand you want to sign up for end-of-life care.” Have you ever saw the shutters of a person’s eyes open wide; I did that morning? Due to those words, he said, ” I decided I don’t need any help” and I yelled, ” What About Me?”

You might need a stronger drink for the second half of the letter.

Life Threw A Few Curveballs:

crime scene do not cross signage
Photo by kat wilcox on Pexels.com

Life Threw a few curveballs while waiting for the ultrasound. A snowstorm caused the postponing of the test for two weeks. The snowstorm caused a major car accident, and we lost our nineteen-year-old grandson. This caregiver went to the funeral home alone and watched her son and daughter-in-law buried their second child in six years, then drove to the dinner alone and home alone in the dark.

Go ahead and swallow that lump in your throat because there is more.

Why Is Everyone Talking About Breast Cancer Prayers?

I went to the imaging center, changed into the mauve color gown again, entered a room where a 26-year breast cancer survivor sat and a woman getting her six-month checkup and the other women and myself were there for ultrasounds. The 26-year breast cancer survivor said welcome to the room of prayers. We all discussed just how many prayers we thought this room had received?

One by one we are taken back to those rooms that search for answers. Then we are told to get dressed. Each of us walks back through the room of prayers silently. I left there knowing that the mass could not be identified on the ultrasound and my next step was a biopsy.

Is your heart rate up yet?

I had to wait seven days before the biopsy including going through my birthday weekend. The first day I was confident, there is not a chance God would through this curveball at me too. The third day had me asking my prayer warriors for prayer and even reached out to a fellow blogger who just finished Writing My Way Through Cancer.

Imagine turning 54-years-old on the weekend and you must avoid your favorite cup of tea for three days and spend those days with the ” What Ifs.”

Talking About Biopsy Experience and After Thoughts:

If you have not experienced a breast biopsy allow me to set the scene! You are awake through the procedure; you can watch everything on a screen. It is only after you look in the mirror at the sterile strips that you wonder about your looks.

You wonder about your efforts of self-care and wonder about the lessons you will learn in life.

Results and Decisions:

Three days later the phone rings and wakes me up, the voice on the other end says, everything is benign, and we will do another mammogram in six months. I then made a few decisions.

  • Self-care is higher on my list
  • If you do your best, God will do the rest
  • Be proud of your age, you are a survivor
  • You are confident enough to face the world alone
  • Those who make an effort to be there in your darkest days, make you feel loved the most!

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